Gibbs Slap Follys: a BIC Collection
by J. Maria
Summary: BIC challenge fics that cross the world of NCIS with those of Angel, BtVS,& CSI:NY. Multiple characters, pairings & ratings
1. Four Simple Rules: 21 for 21

Title: Four Simple Rules  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: CBS & all own them, I just play with them.  
Pairing: Abby/McGee  
Three: apple, monkey, chat  
Word Count: 389  
Summary: McGee breaks one of the rules. . .  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 4/21  
Dedication: to softbrowneyes for the characters and the three words  
A/N: I know the rules on the show are all of Gibbs' rules, but this was written when I was still new to the fandom, which is why Abby is making up her own set of rules to live by.

__

Four Simple Rules

Abby took another angry sip on her drink, glaring little tiny holes into McGee's back. For the last fifteen minutes he'd ignored everything she'd said. Fifteen minutes that she knew off. She'd only started counting then. He could have been ignoring her longer than that. An hour ago, Gibbs had given them the code they needed to crack to access the suspect's files and Abby had been going on about how she could have her half finished in a flash.

And Special Agent Timothy McGee had ignored her. As in mumbled an incoherent reply and went back to work on his section of the code. McGee _never_ ignored her. Nobody ever ignored Abby. Things could go very bad if they ignored her.

"McGee, I've been infested by an alien queen and her spawn are about to burst through my chest."

"Yeah, sure," McGee mumbled. "What do an apple and a monkey have in common? This doesn't make any sense!"

He heard Abby, but wasn't really listening. Gibbs had been really insistent that this code get cracked, the sooner the better. Abby frowned, and the frown quickly turned into a scowl. Without warning, she whirled his chair around forcefully. Grabbing him by the face, she yanked him forward and kissed him.

McGee's mouth hung open in shock, and Abby took advantage of it. Slipping her tongue inside, she waited for half a second until he responded. When she finally let go of him, they were both breathless.

"What's rule number one, Timmy? Abby demanded.

"Science is always right?" He guessed.

"Okay, rule number two?"

"Never ask about your tattoos?"

"The third rule?" Abby groaned.

"Never play Hanson in front of you or anywhere near you?"

"No, McGee. The fourth rule?"

"Never ignore Abby, cause she's sensitive?"

"Yes, McGee!"

"It was for a really good cause, Abs," he sighed.

"Yes, but if you ever want to see me naked again, you better live by that damn rule," she scolded.

"I'm glad I pay you two to sit around and chat about your love lives," Gibbs snapped, a fresh Caf Pow! and two coffees in his hands.

"You don't, but we cracked half of the code until McGee started ignoring me," Abby replied, taking her drink from him.

"Broke rule number four?"

"Yeah. I might have to move that up to number two," Abby sighed.


	2. Getting Down to Business: 12 D o C

Series: Twelve Days of Christmas  
Title: January First  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Bellasario and Bruckheimer own them.  
Fandom(s): CSI: NY/NCIS  
Character(s): Abby Sciuto/Adam Ross  
Spoilers: For the current seasons so farif that makes sense?  
Summary: Not all gifts come to us on Christmas Day - no rest for the wicked.  
Words: 215  
A/N: more in the style of early Abby/McGee relationship  
Dedication:To goddess_loki, who requested the characters.

**__**

Twelve Days of Christmas

___January First  
35th Floor NY Crime Lab_

Abby Sciuto stared at the large clean New York City crime lab with something akin to lust and a hint of envy in her eyes, something that amused her companion to no end.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Adam Ross laughed, just enjoying the expression on her face.  
"Cool -" Abby started to say when she noticed Stella and Gibbs talking quietly. "Uh-oh."

"What?" Adam asked, confused by the sudden change in attitude.

"Is that all you two have to do?" Gibbs snapped, his frustration clearly evident in his face.

"Just getting used to the lab, Gibbs. Adam's showing me where everything is."

"Well, get used to it pretty quick. We've got a marine to find. We don't have time for you two to make moon eyes at each other."

Adam waited until Gibbs and Stella had cleared the corner before taking a deep breath. He glanced at Abby's guilty face.

"Hey, we'll find Mac. Worse things have happened to him."

"I know. We're a good team - both of our teams. We're the best," Abby answered, a frown of concentration on her face. "I'm not jealous of the rest of the team anymore, though."

"Jealous? You?"

"I used to be jealous of them getting to go places while me and Ducky are left in the labs. Not anymore."


	3. Over the Stone Wall: 22 for 22

series:22 for 22  
Title: Over the Stone Wall  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Bellasario owns them. I own the plot.  
Fandom(s): NCIS  
Character(s): Kate/Tony  
Spoilers: Early season two  
Summary: Sometimes stealth does not become them  
Words: 488  
A/N: Got the idea from watching clips of _Torchwood _on you tube...not that Ive seen any of the actual episodes. Also, a bit prequel-y to _PR,_ _Propaganda, and Power  
_Dedication: To valueofpi, who requested the characters and the quote source. **  
**

**_Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two_**

_Over the Stone Wall _

_NCIS Headquarters_

_You're waiting for someone_  
_To put you together_  
_You're waiting for someone to push you away_  
_There's always another wound to discover_  
_There's always something more you wish he'd say_

_~ Everything You Want, Vertical Horizon_

* * *

Kate scrunched up her nose as she watched Tony inhale his food. She rolled her eyes when he gave her that disgusting smirk of his, mouth still stuffed with food. Gibbs strode over to them, pushing Tony's feet off of his desk as he passed.

"Sorry, boss,"

"Don't talk with your mouth full, DiNozzo," Gibbs snapped. "What are you doing?"

"Eatin Chinese take-out," Tony winced.

"We've got a marine missing out there, and you two are playin' footsie?"

"We - we weren't -" Kate stammered, pulling her feet quickly away from Tony.

"We, uh, we hit a dead end with Petty Officer Lewis, just poofed off the radar, boss," Tony added, giving Kate a look. She only narrowed her eyes at him

"Not anymore," Gibbs muttered, slapping a file in front of them. "Petty Officer Jessica Hawes was seen following Lewis the night he disappeared. She hasn't been seen since last Tuesday. Someone spotted her in a residential area this morning, and called it in." Gibbs stared at them for a moment, paused a beat and shook his head at them. "Are you gonna just sit there?"

Within twenty minutes, Tony and Kate were on their way to find Petty Officer Hewes. 1317 Roanoke Drive turned out to be a very well gated private lodging house. Tony didn't even think they still made lodging houses. Kate stared at the gate, shaking her head.

"There's no intercom, there's no call button. How do these people get in? Magic?"

"Maybe there's a camera," Tony frowned.

"If there were a camera don't you think someone would have come out?"

"I don't know, but we're not gonna get any answers on this side of the fence, now are we?"

Ten minutes later, Tony lowered himself over the stone wall, while Kate sat on top of the wall. She nervously started down, Tony waiting at the bottom to help her.

"Tony, if you put your hands on my ass, I swear to God, I will -" Kate threatened

"Shh!" Tony hissed, glancing behind them.

"Don't shh me!" Kate hissed back.

Tony groaned as he pulled her tightly to him, clamping his lips to hers, his hand keeping her head in place as he pushed her back through the shrubs to the metal gate. Kate's muffled protests didn't last very long, and her body relaxed as Tony moved to deepen the kiss, all thoughts of the task at hand slipping away. Until someone cleared their throat behind them. They broke apart like guilty school children, Kate's cheeks burning furiously. A petite blonde woman stood just behind them, her arms crossed.

"Sorry to interrupt your make-out session, but what the hell are you doing on my property?"


	4. I Am Deep Throat: 23 for 23

Series: 23 for 23  
Title: Four: I Am Deep Throat  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: I own the World Walker, Joss Whedon owns Angel, CBS & Bellsario own NCIS.  
Spoilers: General spoilers. Season 5ish of Angel, 4ish of NCIS  
Series Summary: Twenty-three stories and crossings of worlds (read: insanity) to celebrate twenty-three years.  
Part Summary: As much as he wanted out, he couldnt help but warn the man in question.  
Words: 583  
A/N: First quote comes from the into, second comes from _Devil With the Black Dress On_ by Jack Off Jill. Also this is where the humble author-ess points out her historical ignorance (was it Deep Throat who leaked the Watergate (ftw is that, btw? I still dont get it)? Bah, bugger it.) Also, I do not know why the surprise characters popped up but they did.  
Dedication: To shieldage for the fandoms and prompt.

**__**

23 for 23

  
_Four: I Am Deep Throat___

Behind them she saw the worlds that had so briefly intersected with hers.

Did you believe it cause I said so?

* * *

After everything that had happened in L.A., Lorne should have known better than to get involved with the champions. But the guy needed warning and this was the only way he was gonna go into this thing with any kind of protection. The fog was thick in the surrounding car park. Oh he was so going to sink himself into a Sea Breeze or three once this little errand was done. Lorne turned his head to the left, catching a glimpse of an extremely over-dressed young woman. Sure it was early spring, but the weather was absolutely gorgeous outside.

He didn't think on the girl for too long, because the man in question was walking briskly toward him. He was not pleased to see everyone's favorite green demon boy.

"I thought I told you to stop stalking me," Jethro Leroy Gibbs snapped, yanking his sunglasses off.

"Gibbs, pookie, I would if I didn't have this teensy little thing to tell you," Lorne said smoothly, coffee held out like the peace offering it was.

"Don't call me pookie, Lorne," Gibbs muttered. "What is it?"

"Well, the times they are a changing -"

"Skip the platitudes and just tell me already, demon."

"One of your little birdies came and sang for me at Safe Harbor," Lorne sighed. "I gave them the abbreviated answer to their booze inspired question, but I figured you should know the truth of the matter."

"Was it DiNozzo?" Gibbs groaned.

"Nope. Palmer."

"Palmer?"

"Scrawny looking boy with the girl who would be one of your own if you hadn't popped back into the picture? Let me tell you, that boy has a _powerful_ set of lungs on him. If I still had my questionably evil connections - and not that I still associate with them now that L.A. has gone to the hellhounds, mind you - I would've had him bringing sexy back before our newly crowned prince of pop."

"Was any of that supposed to make sense, Lorne?"

"Only to those of us not living out of our basements," Lorne groaned.

"So Palmer is going to somehow bring around the end of the world?"

"Oh, pookie, he's not going to do that much damage. And I never said it was about him."

"Will you get to the point then?"

Lorne took a deep breath and spat out all of the information he could possibly think of Gibbs needing to know. The older human was silent for a few minutes as he sipped his bribe-coffee.

"And the arrival of a girl who dresses like Abby has what to do with my team?"

"Palmer is supposed to watch over her, but Ash doesn't really trust him and I think it might be a case of mistaken identities. She does look a lot like little Abbykins."

"Remind me why I get involved with your champion crap again?" Gibbs muttered, marching through the fog and far away from the demon.

"You know I ask myself that question constantly, Gibbs. I still haven't come up with a decent answer."

Lorne pulled his white fedora over his horns and donned his diva glasses. As he strolled out through the fog, he hummed the tune of 'I Must've Done Something Good' from _The Sound of Music_, wondering when exactly he'd become Sister Maria to Gibbs' Colonel Von Trapp. It was bad enough that the little kiddies were coming to town without Gibbs being involved. As Angel had been fond of saying, redemption was a rocky road.


End file.
